What do you do when you just don’t want to keep going?

Most people feel that resilience and persistence are innate characteristics. They say we are either born that way, or we aren’t.

But this is misleading. I know because I have found myself on either end of the spectrum at various points in my life.

When I was growing up I pushed beyond my limits and stretched myself often. But then in high school I started to look for shortcuts. I didn’t want to put in the work so I would search for an easier way.

Often this led to talking me out of something I should do. I played football while in high school. We would have summer training that we were responsible for completing. I would convince myself that today’s workout didn’t matter. So, I would skip it. The next day I would have the same conversation in my head. Soon I missed a week of workouts and it was difficult to get back to the routine.

In some ways I was correct. That one workout didn’t have a direct impact on future performance. If I took that one day off but got right back to the routine, I wouldn’t have noticed a difference. But when that one day turns into every day, it absolutely had a negative impact on performance.

But I didn’t realize this at the time. In fact, it took years before I finally put it together to see how devastating one day can be when we allow that mindset.

This was the mindset that I carried through high school and college. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree but relied more on talent than on work.

When I finished college, I finally decided to stop the shortcut mindset. I committed to do the hard work necessary. So, I made the decision to go back to school to study an area in which I could start a business.

I didn’t go to graduate school. I went to a community college. But this time I didn’t allow myself any excuses. I pushed myself each day, regardless of how I felt. I didn’t allow the same twisted logic that would have convinced me to skimp on the work.

But it wasn’t as black and white as it sounds. The quitter’s mindset was still there. Sometimes it won. Sometimes it didn’t win but the whole time I started to learn to identify the thoughts that came before I quit.

This has led me to realize that we all have this same battle. Some people give up early enough and let the quitter’s mindset run things. Some people have found a way to ignore that mindset and push far beyond most to achieve what they desire.

But for the rest of us, it is a common battle. It is something that we need to face on a regular basis. Sometimes we win and sometimes we quit. Sometimes we hang in there and get to the finish line and other times find a way out.

This is natural. It allows us to be flexible and think through the steps we take in life. Sometimes we should quit. Sometimes this is holding us back and we need to walk away to find a better opportunity.

The key is to find systematic ways to evaluate our situation. We have to be able to identify when we are taking the easy way out instead of facing a challenge that could help us improve. We have to realize when we are being too stubborn to realize that there is a better path forward. We have to realize that we are rationalizing a poor decision.

We can all learn how to be more resilient and persistent in the face of challenge. We can all improve and push further to gain more. We can learn when this makes sense and when we should explore other endeavors. But we aren’t born with this ability. We have to keep honing it throughout life so we can continue to make better and better decisions.